metaknighty:

youre a 10 and i look like im 10

(via greetings)


maahamburger:

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

(via stop)


yeahmanidk:

jackedoff:

poop is touching u on the inside rightnow

Why would you even think of this I just

(via moistbottom)



bewbin:

bewbin:

Now that I’m an adult I have to make more serious posts

Briefcase

(via someday-the-dream-will-end)



youaintshitok:

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree.

That makes it a plant.

Chocolate is salad.

(via heart)


myarmsareridiculous:

me when straight girls

image

(via uhohmylesbianisshowing)


trencly:

tips on how to properly enter my room:

  1. do not

(via uhohmylesbianisshowing)



rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(via a-piece-of-trash)


peniscruncher:

dusknoirs:

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

the generation that did is dying out so don’t worry

(via a-piece-of-trash)


kaliforhnia:

i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.

(via heart)


Me in two sentences.

Me: I won't get jealous
Me: Who's this fucking whore

spilled-weed:

pornstache is giving me heart palpitations

(via just-letme-leave)